Wednesday, April 27, 2011

just life ...

I haven't posted in awhile because we have been super busy with friends in town and then family and I leave on  my very first toddler free vacation tomorrow. ok - i am taking the babe but leaving the difficult one behind. I am excited. I am going to Chicago to visit my sister, meet her Cypriot boyfriend who is visiting from Cyprus and hang out with one of my best friends and her cute little man. It is so hard to pack to go to the Midwest in April. It is supposed to be 45 one day and then 70 the next - what the hell am i supposed to bring to wear? what do babies wear in the cold? much easier to live where it is 90 every day and you just throw a tshirt on the kids. I can't wait to do some good shopping , eat some good food and sleep in past 6:30! Our flight leaves at 6 a.m. - why did I ever pick that flight time? why do i need to be in the city by 8 a.m. - i don't usually like to be awake by then, let alone on the other side of the country. I am crossing my fingers that everything goes as planned and the the Mackman is a good traveler and that Dashy doesn't miss me too much(or I don't miss him too much). Hope everyone is having a good week : )

Friday, April 15, 2011


I just read this article,, is this guy actually serious? Poor Zsa Zsa has been sick for a very long time and since I am quite the follower of celebrity news, I am pretty sure she is rushed to the hospital every other week. No offense meant, but the lady is going to die soon. she is 94. why in the hell would he want "her" to have a baby -in whatever sense he is insinuating. just leave her alone.

i am all for people becoming parents at whatever age they please but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I was watching a TLC show on older mamas and the Dr. that delivered Dash was delivering a baby of a 65 year old woman. I know it is the parent's choice - but I just cannot imagine taking care of a newborn, toddler, preschooler when I was almost 70. I am 30 and I barely survive each day!

what do you think of Prince Von Asshole's (or whatever his name is ) plan??

Wednesday, April 13, 2011



why doesn't my child ever want to sleep? what have we done wrong that bedtime is such a production and fight? I dread it every single night. My husband and I fight about who is going to try to put him to bed first. It usually takes at least an hour, if not longer. He is 2 1/2 and he decided 6 months ago that naps just aren't his style. At first I was okay with it because it does mean he goes to bed earlier but it doesn't make it any easier. On a day with no nap, we start bedtime around 7:30 - if we are lucky by 9 he is asleep in his own bed. If we aren't, he goes to bed with us around 10. If he naps, you can forget about a normal bedtime, the child will stay up until at least 11.

I have read countless books on baby and toddler sleep and have tired a lot of thier ideas - but they just aren't working for us. I cannot lock him in his room alone and awake because he climbs things, even more so when he is upset and surely would climb onto his dresser and knock the giant mirror off the wall and onto his head. I have tried sitting next to his bed and staying silent until he falls asleep - sounds like a good plan except he never fell asleep. He just keeps talking. I have tired earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, different soothing sounds, cd's, even this stupid aromatherapy thing that someone told me about.

The kid is active, very active, during the day and he should be exhausted, i know i am. what can I do to reduce teh number of tears, fights, and just the drama that surrounds bedtime. I just wish I could put him in bed, read him a story, kiss him goodnight and walk out of the room. why does that seem so impossible?

The doctor suggested I try melotonin for kids and I picked some up at Whole Foods yesterday and tried it last night. Brent took him to bed at 7 and he was alseep by 7:05pm. I was happy that it worked but now I feel like I drugged him and he should learn to fall asleep with some sleep aid even if it is herbal and doctor recommended. We just cannot continue this mess of a bedtime and need to find a solution that works for everyone.

Any suggestions?

Monday, April 11, 2011

a day in the life of dash

4 a.m. - wander from his bedroom across the house to our bedroom, managing to run into at least 3 singing toys on his way.

4:07 a.m - continuously trying to stick his fingers in my mouth, singing the ABC's over and over again but somehow he falls back asleep (thank god).

5:15 a.m. - wakes up screaming "mama, mama, mama" repeatedly until I yell at him that I had moved to the couch because I just cannot sleep with a 30lb 2 year old constantly touching me.

5:17 a.m. - falls back asleep on top of  me on the couch. I am more uncomfortable than ever.

7:20 a.m - wakes up for the day. climbs off couch and finds the nearest magnadoodle.

7:24 a.m. - attempts to shove magnadoodle in my hand, i refuse. shoves it even harder into my head. ouch.

7:25 a.m. - correctly tells me every letter and number i draw - wants to me do it until my hand falls off.

7:35 a.m. - meltdown #1 when I put the magnadoodle down and go to find him something to eat.

7:50 a.m. - eats an apple, marshmallow fruit loops (so good) and toast.

8:15 a.m. - decides he wants an egg, helps himself which results in 4 broken eggs on the kitchen floor and somehow an unbroken one in the sink.

9:00 a.m. - get in the car for our first playdate of the day, a walk at the nature park. dash insists we are going to chickfila, when I don't turn at the right place he throws apple #2 at me.

9:14 a.m.- 10:30 - walk the trails with some friends, we see alligators, turtles, giant birds, and fish. dash only attempts to climb the boardwalk railing twice - good morning!

10:45 a.m.- 12:30 - Gymnastics Open Gym - 2 hours of jumping, running, screaming, flipping and stealing apples from the concession stand (they really should put them somewhere else because every week I have to buy at least 2 apples because he takes bites out of them). Shut his finger in the door - they give him a blue icepack that looks exactly like a flavor-ice popsicle. he bites it and probably ingests posion. 10 minutes later, he attempts to jump off this really high mat onto the trampoline, his legs give out on him, which causes him to knee himself in his face. awesome. more crying but this time I pass on the ice pack.

12:45 - Lunch time. dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and cold green beans. I go to change the baby and come back to find that he has moved a chair to open the freezer amd has opened not 1, not 2, but 3 popsicles. I open the back door and send him outside to finish his "lunch".

1:15 pm. - naptime. attempt to put him down for a nap. dash choses to jump on the bed and sing the alphabet. he gets up to go find a magnadoodle for me to draw on for him.

1:18 pm - 20 more minutes of practicing drawing my letters and numbers through 30. Meltdown #2 results when I put the magnadoodle away.

1:45 p.m. - give up on naptime and get him ready to go swimming.

1:55 p.m. - 3:14 pm- open the pool and watch dashy swim for the next hour. dash loses interest after about an hour and runs inside (soaking wet) to go find a magnadoodle.

3:18-3:45: opt for drawing the letters on the patio with chalk instead. do my best drawings of elmo, ernie, and barney. dash just likes to watch and will occasionally run and eat an acorn or 2.

4:00-5:00: ellen is on so I declare it rest time. Dash stays outside and colors the screens of our porch with chalk, eats acorns and torments the dogs.

5:13-5:20: daily target trip - dash enjoys an ICEE while i shop as fast as possible. he only attempts to nose dive out of the cart 5 different times. decide it was a pretty successful trip.

5:22 - 6:25: stop at ChickFila for Dash's dinner. Dash learns how to play hide and seek with about 5 elementary school kids in the playarea. As we are leaving a giant Cow mascot dances with him in the restaurant. Dash proceeds to say "bye cow" for the next hour.

6:45pm: bathtime. attempt to give both Mack and Dash one at the same time. take Mack quickly to his room to grab a diaper and in the .5 seconds I am gone Dash shuts and locks the bathroom door. I unlock it quickly only to find that he has peed all over the floor. awesome.

7:15 pm: Daddy's home. Just when he is getting sleepy, Brent comes home and gets him all wound up.

7:35 pm: Bedtime #1. unsuccessful. read 3 books, said goodnight, and lay next to him. He got up, found his gdamn magnadoodle and shoved it in my face. One more round with the letters and I say goodnight again. He acts like he is going to go to sleep but then stands up and jumps on his bed. He lays down again and somehow he headbutts me with his giant hard head. I leave pissed off. He cries and cries.

8:00 pm: Brent attempts bedtime. somehow Dash convinces him to let him watch Elmo. 30 minutes later - it is silent.

all i have to say is i'm tired. good night!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I was at a playdate with a mom's group yesterday and there happened to be 2 very pregnant ladies and the conversation turned to the last weeks of pregnancy and all the ailments and complaints that go along with it. I just sat there, quiet. I never got to experience that last home stretch, I never had the swollen feet or the ginormous belly, or the curiousty of how far dialated I was when I was at 38 weeks, or the anxious feeling of wondering if my water will break when I am making a lap around the mall. my babies come early.

Dash was born at 35 weeks so I did get to experience some of that with him but I was on bedrest and had weekly ultrasounds and cervix exams so there really wasn't very much element of the unknown. Mack was born at 32 weeks and I had been on hosptial bedrest - so basically spent my 3rd trimester in the hospital, either in bed or sitting next to his isolette while he struggled to grow and feed.

part of me feels cheated. I can't join in on 3rd trimester converstaions because my pregnancies aren't normal. I don't know what it is like to only have one ultrasound, to not have any idea to how big the baby will be when he is born. or to get excited when your doctors appointments move up to twice a month and finally once a week. i practically lived in my doctors office and ultrasound room from 12 weeks on. I can't really complain about having to chase a toddler around while pregnant because I wasn't even allowed to get up to make a freakin sandwich for him, let alone put him in the carseat to go to the playground and my doctors would have had a heart attack had i even said the word ran!

one of the mama's in the group described those final weeks as a right of passage into parenthood - that kind of made me sad but I am sure the challenges we have faced earned me that passage. I don't know why I even think about it when being pregnant is not in the near future and those challeneges are behind me at least for now. but i do every now and again - i wish i could complain about being 40 weeks and still not feeling a single contraction but instead i got to complain about being 20 weeks and feeling too many contractions (which people got very concerned about so I stopped mentioning it to the general public).

i guess we all have our pregnancy and birth stories and mine just happen to be shorter than most other people. It just bothers me that if I have another baby, statistics show that it will likely be born even early than Mackey. but in the end - it doesn't matter. this is all that matters. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

favorite things ...

spring is here and we have been super busy trying to make the most of this awesome weather, some of my favorite spring things so far ...

1. dash eating popsicles outside with sticky juice running down his face and the moment he finishes it he always brings me the stick and says "more, thank you".

2. gymnastics twice a week - watching dashy jump on the trampoline and master the balance beam is so exciting. he has found 2 older girls that love him at open gym that take it upon themselves to follow him around and help him do everything for 2 entire hours. i just have to sit back and chat with friends : )

3. mackey experiencing the pool for the first time = true love. I remember spending hours every day swimming when i was a little kid and I am so grateful that my kids will be able to experience the same thing.

4. zoo passes. we have already been 4 times since March 3. Dash loves the monkeys and chasing the chickens around!

5. lazy weekend cookouts - good food, good drinks and good times with friends just enjoying the weather and our patio while the kids play in the backyard!

6. i know this isn't good for me but i love finally being suntan. i feel like i look so much better when i have a suntan.