I AM,

(i am stealing the blog title from http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/12/i-am.html , if you dont follow her you are missing out on all sorts of awesomeness.)

This being the last day of 2010 and a brand spanking new year right around the corner - I feel compelled to write a post about the person I want to be in 2011. Kelle inspired me to adopt the mantra - I am capable. I am capable of being the kind of mother that I want my children to have. I am capable of embracing thier childhood and making it special, even magical because I want them to have those memories and experiences. I need not to worry what other mothers are doing or if they are judging me because I let my son run barefoot in the park chasing squirrels or worry that someone might care that my laundry isn't done and there are dirty dishes in the sink because I choose to take the kids to the beach or spend the afternoon playing with chalk in the backyard. I want to be able to admit that I dont care if the playroom floor is barely visible because Dash has gotten every single toy out - it's a playroom and he is a kid. If he wants to hop like a bunny the entire way from Macy's to The Gap - I'm going to let him no matter how long it takes because he is happy which means I am happy. Life is too short and childhood even shorter to dwell on the messes - I am going to just clean them up and go on with our day. There will be no crying over spilled milk or yelling over broken jelly jars. I am incredibly lucky that I get to spend these years with them - I get to help form them into the men they will be one day. I want to suck the marrow out of this year - I want to be a better mother, a better wife and a better person and i know that I am capable of doing it.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It's hard to believe another year is over -- it seems like just weeks ago I was finding out I was pregnant and now I have an almost 5 month old laying on my chest. what a busy year!

We have all been sick the last couple weeks - Mackey ended up spending one night in the hospital to recieve IV fluids. He is doing much better - but it is scary when you hear that they are admitting you. It means that your little man is really sick - poor baby. He took the IV like a man - smiled and coo'ed the whole time they were putting it in. He lost a little weight so he is probably around 11.5lbs now - still just a little guy.

Dash has been getting all four molars at one time and therefore is the crankiest toddler on the block --- some days he is pretty much unbearable to be around. I think i would rather hear a infant cry 20 hours straight then hear a 2 year old whine for 3 hours in a row.

a certain 2 year old is whining now - wanting something to eat even though in the last 2 hours he was eaten 3 eggs, 2 pancakes, an apple and cookie.

its been forever...

i havent blogged in months ---- life goes on, it gets busy and things get forgotten. maybe i will start blogging again but maybe not. In the last few months - we have fallen in love w/ a little bald man.

Mack is 4 months old and finally on the growth charts - he is 12lbs 4 oz, in the 3rd percentile and he is 25 inches long, which is 75th percentile. basically he is a tall and skinny green bean that has stolen my heart!!

He sleeps better than any parent can dream - all night, every night and throughout most of the day too!!

Dash is adjusting and has definetly entered his terrible 2's. This week has been a challenge but we are surviving. Even when he is driving me insane - I still just want to hug and kiss him bc he is too cute! Do any parents have any idea what they are doing - bc we definetly do not. Sometimes I just want to smack myself bc i hear myself saying things to dash that I swore I would never say to my kid. (ex "b/c I said so"). I just hope we don't mess these boys up too much!!

Home...

After 22 days in the NICU at All Children's Hospital - Mackey was released a week ago and has been home w/ us ever since! The adjustment to a newborn in the house hasn't been that bad  - Mackey sleeps almost 22-23 hours a day and it is pretty easy to forget that he is even here. Dash is doing so much better than I ever imagined. He likes to give the baby kisses and gently pets his headd...too cute. He also likes to point out Mackey's body parts --- including jabbing him in the eyeball. He is up to almost 6lbs and is getting bigger every day. He is an excellent eater and is eating every 3-4 hours. We are so glad to have him home with us.

almost 3 weeks -

It has been almost 3 weeks, 19 days to be exact and Mackey is still in the NICU and most likely will be coming home sometime early next week. He has finally mastered eating from a bottle and is gaining weight like the doctors want him to. We thought he would be coming home this weekend but he failed his "carseat challenge" which means he has to stay at least 48 more hours until he can be discharged. Hopefully  he will pass on Sunday or else we will be staying even longer. They also want him to be eating ab lib for at least 48 hours and he jsut started that today. He is weighing in at 5lbs 2oz now and is 19 1/2 inches long.

It is pretty difficult trying to juggle spending time at the hospital and taking care of dash --- brent's mom was here for the first week but now i have been going early in the morning before brent goes to work and every evening. I feel like I am not spending enough time there but I know Dash needs me too at this time - i will be glad when he is home and we can figure out a normal routine.

We just pray that he will be discharged soon ---

mackey update

Mackey is 5 days old today and is still in the NICU. He just needs to grow and learn to eat and soon he will be home w/ us! He has lost 10% of his birth weight which is within the normal range and he should start to gain weight in the next few days. He is no longer on any meds or IV's - but he still has the tube down his nose to help w/ his feedings, what he doesn't take from a bottle they have to tube feed him. Right now he is not very good at sucking from a bottle - but everyone assures us that that will just click on one day and then we wont have any issues. I hope that day is soon.

Welcome to the World Mackey!!

Mackey Vincent Pope was born on August 15, 2010 at 9:40am. At 33 weeks gestation, he weighed 4lb 14oz and was 19 inches long. He is still in the NICU and will probably be there for another week or two but is doing as well as expected. He looks just like his big brother - complete w/ the blonde hair that we have no idea where it comes from. My pregnancy was difficult but had a pretty easy labor and painless delivery. He came out kicking and screaming and scored 9 and 9 on his apgars. He is very very long and has giant feet - they look funny connected to his mini body! All the nurses think is an exceptionally cute newborn preemie and I am not going to disagree w/ them.