Wednesday, November 16, 2011

seriously just pee already

We are in the midst of another round of potty training. This is the first time that there haven't been accidents all over my floor or kicking and screaming matches. This is the first time that I am thinking it just might work. Except the kid doesn't pee. He has only had one accident in the last 4 days and that was at preschool where he flat out refused to use their potty. He once went 18 hours without going pee and then he ran full speed onto his little living room potty and pretty much filled that sucker up! he has some fear of different bathrooms - more like he is petrified. I tried to get him to go pee at Marshall's and I had even brought a potty seat he could sit on so it wouldn't be so scary, he freaked the fuck out. like all out kicking his legs and screaming like I was kidnapping him and taking away his lollipop all at the same time. It is so stressful. I feel like I am constantly telling him to try to pee - not that that ever does anything at all. He is 3. He should be potty trained already but every time we have tried it was horrible and all the other "systems" just didn't work for him. He wasn't ready I guess. The fact that he holds his pee for so long makes me think that maybe he isn't quite ready yet either - he still is scared to pee but as long as he isn't having accidents constantly we are going to stick it out. The entire process stresses me out. I am annoyed at hearing myself talk about peeing. We are out of the house a lot during the day and having to worry about him peeing makes it even more difficult. I think potty training might be overrated - diapers are so much more convenient. I hope he will get over his fears in a few days or weeks and we can put this potty training business behind us at least for a few months. I'm going to start working more with Mack more when he is 18 months. He pees probably 50% of the time I put him on the potty so maybe the potty training of kid #2 will be easier. Now I have go and try to get him to pee again because he hasn't peed since 7 last night. I was just googling ways to make a kid go pee ... I am desperate. Anyone have any advice to deal with potty fears?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

hands off

Dash has blonde hair.

And he is cute. 

But does that really mean that people are allowed to touch him ALL.THE.TIME. He is not a statute. He is three and doesn't want your grubby hands in his head.

I know you are old but seriously if you were sitting quietly and happily in the back of a Target cart eating popcorn and drinking a blue ICEE would you really want some creepy person to run their hand through your hair? No. You would scream too.

Do you really think it is appropriate to kiss a stranger because they happen to remind you of your son Jim-Bob when he was a little boy? Absolutely not. I will gladly listen to you reminisce about how he looked just like him and then his hair turned brown when he was 12 but just don't touch him. It is rude and probably going to give him a complex.

I cannot even remember the last time we went anywhere that someone didn't comment on his hair. I get it, it is blonde but there are millions of blonde hair people. Why is there such a fascination with blonde hair little boys? Do blonde hair girls get the same attention? 

It just amazes me that people will touch a stranger in such an affectionate way. It is usually old people but sometimes not so old people do it too. It happens on almost a daily basis. I try to nicely say that he doesn't like strangers but sometimes they come in for a surprise attack. If Dash gets sick next week I am pretty sure the small old man with the long ear hair standing in line at the Publix pharmacy, who had to kiss him on his face, gave it to him.

seriously, like we all learned in preschool, keep your hands to yourself!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

one of those days

you know it is going to be one of those days when you wake up with your eye matted shut because you slept in your contact one month too long and then your 14 month old walks into your room and throws up all over the carpet but wait - how is the baby even out of his crib? shit - he climbed out and that is just another huge disaster waiting to happen. It feels like you slept no more than 45 minutes because your 3 year old's cough sounds like he is dying of whooping cough on the Oregon Trail. You have nothing except 2 pieces of pizza to give the kids for breakfast because you cleaned your refrigerator/freezer out 2 days ago because your new appliances were supposed to be delivered yesterday but there was some sort of delay and now they are coming today probably at the exact same time the doctor fit you in to look at said whooping cough. oh and this will make the 4 trips to the doctor in the last 10 days - who doesn't love spending $120 on co-pays for 2 shot visits, 1 developmental consult and a sick visit. you didn't really need those jeans you had been eyeballing at Nordstrom --- you can pretend that you look sexy in your one size too big Gap jeans from last year.

It's days like this that I want to grab my favorite giant sweatpants and my husbands sweatshirt and watch bad romantic comedies all day long. something about George Clooney in One Fine Day that makes me feel a little bit better. I'm probably going to leave the piles of laundry and the clutter on the island and just go into survival mode. We might even have McDonalds for lunch and something equally unhealthy for dinner. Motherhood can be so awesome and some days are so much fun and I am so thankful I get to stay at home with these little guys but some days just suck and make me want to curl up and bed and sleep the day away. I guess I should embrace the doctor's appointment because it may be my only chance to leave the house all day. the only positive about days like this is the hope that tomorrow will be better.

Friday, October 21, 2011

just like Omar Gooding

i know you are thinking that that name sounds familiar. If you are a child of the 80's (or maybe 90's?) you are trying to put a face on that name. He was a Nickelodeon staple. And what child didn't live for Nickelodeon when they were little ... slime, hey dude, all that and wild and crazy kids. Omar was the host of the latter. so in theory I am just like Omar. because man, these kids are wild and crazy. As I am typing this Mack is chasing Dash around the house and hitting him with a toy golf club and they both think it is the most hilarious game ever. Dash alternates walking with rolling on the ground in the strangest way that I cannot even describe. He does this when we are out also ... it is pretty embarrassing when you are trying to buy everything on super clearance at BabyGap and your 3 year old is rolling around the filthy mall floor singing some song you cannot understand but at least he wasn't screaming i guess.  Mack has discovered how to move around his little green Ikea chair from his bedroom and place it in front of the kitchen counter or maybe the bathroom sink or even once he put it in front of his high chair and then proceeds to climb into/onto whatever surface he desires. nothing is off limits. Dash has always been wild and crazy but now Mack is joining in on the fun. My house is a perpetual disaster that I am pretty sure is going to stay like that for at least the next 10 years. so i feel like i am Omar - the referee who occasionally got to join in on the fun. like last night we made forts all over the house and crawled through tunnels to each location or when I draw the worlds longest hopscotch in the backyard and show the boys just how it is done. but i doubt Omar had to clean up the mess - he probably had people for that. i need those people.