just like Omar Gooding

i know you are thinking that that name sounds familiar. If you are a child of the 80's (or maybe 90's?) you are trying to put a face on that name. He was a Nickelodeon staple. And what child didn't live for Nickelodeon when they were little ... slime, hey dude, all that and wild and crazy kids. Omar was the host of the latter. so in theory I am just like Omar. because man, these kids are wild and crazy. all.day.long. As I am typing this Mack is chasing Dash around the house and hitting him with a toy golf club and they both think it is the most hilarious game ever. Dash alternates walking with rolling on the ground in the strangest way that I cannot even describe. He does this when we are out also ... it is pretty embarrassing when you are trying to buy everything on super clearance at BabyGap and your 3 year old is rolling around the filthy mall floor singing some song you cannot understand but at least he wasn't screaming i guess.  Mack has discovered how to move around his little green Ikea chair from his bedroom and place it in front of the kitchen counter or maybe the bathroom sink or even once he put it in front of his high chair and then proceeds to climb into/onto whatever surface he desires. nothing is off limits. Dash has always been wild and crazy but now Mack is joining in on the fun. My house is a perpetual disaster that I am pretty sure is going to stay like that for at least the next 10 years. so i feel like i am Omar - the referee who occasionally got to join in on the fun. like last night we made forts all over the house and crawled through tunnels to each location or when I draw the worlds longest hopscotch in the backyard and show the boys just how it is done. but i doubt Omar had to clean up the mess - he probably had people for that. i need those people.

different.

I'm Pouring My Heart Out with Shell - head on over to read more ...

I had to have a conference with Dash's teachers yesterday. They called me concerned about some of his "developmental" issues and want to sit down to discuss my little man. They said they were concerned about his attention, his hyperfocus on certain things, a couple sensory things that I had never even considered, his energy level in general and his speech and fine motor skill delay. A little overwhelming for me. I just want my little man to be normal and not to struggle. But they also said with all the issues that are going on with him - he is a very very happy child, he doesn't actually present any behavior problems in the classroom. when it is quiet he sits in circle time without being asked and she said that he is one of the only ones that walks in line every single time. He shares the toys without a fight and once you get his attention he does whatever it is that you want him to do with a big smile on his face. They said that his laid back and easygoing attitude are probably what is allowing him to not struggle in the classroom. and he is cute - which makes it easier to forgive his craziness sometimes!

I made an appointment with his doctor to discuss these concerns and see what steps she recommends that we make to help him. We are still waiting for a spot for speech therapy but his speech is getting better every single day so I think that it is more of a waiting kind of situation. I also called the school system to see if we can get an evaluation to see if he qualifies for therapy through them now that he is 3. The 3 times we had him evaluated through Early Steps he never qualified so I don't know if he will but think that observations from his teachers would be helpful.

When I look at Dash - I see this adorable blonde hair little boy who is always laughing and smiling, who loves Mickey Mouse and jumping off high things, a kid who plays hard all day long and then crashes even harder when it is time to go to bed. I don't think of his "issues" as things that make him different but just as what makes him him.

In his eyes ...

Dash started preschool this month. He loves it. In the 3 short weeks he has been there, his speech has vastly improved, he has had 3 somewhat major injuries require accident reports and he now likes to pick up his toys at home. I think he likes to go and do his own thing. But yesterday while his teacher was putting him in his carseat in the pickup line - she was telling me about their project they did that day. They had cut pictures out of magazines to represent their families and  pasted them on some construction paper. Typical toddler project. She handed me Dash's picture out of his Thomas backpack. There was a picture of lady with brown hair, a man that was probably 65 years old (apparently Dash thinks Brent is really old), a picture of a little blonde toddler and 2 dogs that actually looked like our 2 dogs. There was no baby. She said she kept on giving him a baby to glue onto the picture and he refused. He started crying. He didn't want a baby in his family. I don't know why that made me so sad but it did. Dash doesn't talk all that much - so for him to say "no baby on my picture" , it means he really didn't want the baby there. The baby is not even a baby anymore, he runs, he plays, he likes to dig in the dirt too - shouldn't they be friends? Shouldn't Dash be happy to have a playmate, a partner in crime? But no - somewhere in that little almost 3 year old mind, he still sees the baby as a nuisance, someone who he really wishes wasn't around. It just made me sad for him - that by adding to our family it created some sort of resentment in Dash, I know he is only 3 and will get over it and I hope one day they will be best friends and glad to have each other but it is still disheartening to know that in his beautiful blue eyes he sees his family as mama, daddy, him and 2 crazy dogs. He didn't ask for a baby and he still doesn't like him.

a decade ago

i was 20 and a sophomore in college on 9/11/01. I remember being woken up by Brent's fraternity roommates telling us that something bad had happened... we climbed out of the bunk and walked into their living area.  We watched the chaos that the first plane hitting had caused and I remember the banter of of discussing how that could happen but none of us had really understood the magnitude yet . But then we watched as the second plane came crashing into the 2nd tower and we just sat in stunned silence. In a room that was usually held drinking contests between frat boys and still had the solo cups from Monday night's party littering the bar - the raw emotions in that room between 12 college guys and me is hard to explain. In that very moment we all lost a lot of our innocence.  I left shortly later to make it to my drama class at 10:30 - half of the class wasn't there and our professor was her cheerful self. I remember the girl that told her what happen - her name was Autumn, she was on the swim team. Our professor, a young girl with a New York accent, immediately started crying. A minute later someone brought in a television set and we watched the rest of the morning unfold. Our professor dismissed class but we all stayed and watched. Hours later I finally made contact with my dad - he traveled a lot and had left Newark on a flight that earlier that morning. All those hours I never even considered he could have been on one of those planes. I still remember so much about that day --- I remember the email we got from our Communications professor telling us that our scheduled exam that evening was still going to happen - only did I make my way to campus to take the test that it had ultimately been cancelled. I remember the candlelight vigils and the general friendliness of everyone on campus in the weeks that followed. I remember the footage that played on our televisions 24/7. On this day I can't watch that footage - maybe it brings back too memories. maybe i don't want my children to try to comprehend such things. but whether I choose to watch or not - i will not forget.