Monday, April 11, 2011

a day in the life of dash

4 a.m. - wander from his bedroom across the house to our bedroom, managing to run into at least 3 singing toys on his way.

4:07 a.m - continuously trying to stick his fingers in my mouth, singing the ABC's over and over again but somehow he falls back asleep (thank god).

5:15 a.m. - wakes up screaming "mama, mama, mama" repeatedly until I yell at him that I had moved to the couch because I just cannot sleep with a 30lb 2 year old constantly touching me.

5:17 a.m. - falls back asleep on top of  me on the couch. I am more uncomfortable than ever.

7:20 a.m - wakes up for the day. climbs off couch and finds the nearest magnadoodle.

7:24 a.m. - attempts to shove magnadoodle in my hand, i refuse. shoves it even harder into my head. ouch.

7:25 a.m. - correctly tells me every letter and number i draw - wants to me do it until my hand falls off.

7:35 a.m. - meltdown #1 when I put the magnadoodle down and go to find him something to eat.

7:50 a.m. - eats an apple, marshmallow fruit loops (so good) and toast.

8:15 a.m. - decides he wants an egg, helps himself which results in 4 broken eggs on the kitchen floor and somehow an unbroken one in the sink.

9:00 a.m. - get in the car for our first playdate of the day, a walk at the nature park. dash insists we are going to chickfila, when I don't turn at the right place he throws apple #2 at me.

9:14 a.m.- 10:30 - walk the trails with some friends, we see alligators, turtles, giant birds, and fish. dash only attempts to climb the boardwalk railing twice - good morning!

10:45 a.m.- 12:30 - Gymnastics Open Gym - 2 hours of jumping, running, screaming, flipping and stealing apples from the concession stand (they really should put them somewhere else because every week I have to buy at least 2 apples because he takes bites out of them). Shut his finger in the door - they give him a blue icepack that looks exactly like a flavor-ice popsicle. he bites it and probably ingests posion. 10 minutes later, he attempts to jump off this really high mat onto the trampoline, his legs give out on him, which causes him to knee himself in his face. awesome. more crying but this time I pass on the ice pack.

12:45 - Lunch time. dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and cold green beans. I go to change the baby and come back to find that he has moved a chair to open the freezer amd has opened not 1, not 2, but 3 popsicles. I open the back door and send him outside to finish his "lunch".

1:15 pm. - naptime. attempt to put him down for a nap. dash choses to jump on the bed and sing the alphabet. he gets up to go find a magnadoodle for me to draw on for him.

1:18 pm - 20 more minutes of practicing drawing my letters and numbers through 30. Meltdown #2 results when I put the magnadoodle away.

1:45 p.m. - give up on naptime and get him ready to go swimming.

1:55 p.m. - 3:14 pm- open the pool and watch dashy swim for the next hour. dash loses interest after about an hour and runs inside (soaking wet) to go find a magnadoodle.

3:18-3:45: opt for drawing the letters on the patio with chalk instead. do my best drawings of elmo, ernie, and barney. dash just likes to watch and will occasionally run and eat an acorn or 2.

4:00-5:00: ellen is on so I declare it rest time. Dash stays outside and colors the screens of our porch with chalk, eats acorns and torments the dogs.

5:13-5:20: daily target trip - dash enjoys an ICEE while i shop as fast as possible. he only attempts to nose dive out of the cart 5 different times. decide it was a pretty successful trip.

5:22 - 6:25: stop at ChickFila for Dash's dinner. Dash learns how to play hide and seek with about 5 elementary school kids in the playarea. As we are leaving a giant Cow mascot dances with him in the restaurant. Dash proceeds to say "bye cow" for the next hour.

6:45pm: bathtime. attempt to give both Mack and Dash one at the same time. take Mack quickly to his room to grab a diaper and in the .5 seconds I am gone Dash shuts and locks the bathroom door. I unlock it quickly only to find that he has peed all over the floor. awesome.

7:15 pm: Daddy's home. Just when he is getting sleepy, Brent comes home and gets him all wound up.

7:35 pm: Bedtime #1. unsuccessful. read 3 books, said goodnight, and lay next to him. He got up, found his gdamn magnadoodle and shoved it in my face. One more round with the letters and I say goodnight again. He acts like he is going to go to sleep but then stands up and jumps on his bed. He lays down again and somehow he headbutts me with his giant hard head. I leave pissed off. He cries and cries.

8:00 pm: Brent attempts bedtime. somehow Dash convinces him to let him watch Elmo. 30 minutes later - it is silent.

all i have to say is i'm tired. good night!


  1. It makes me tired just to read that!

  2. Hey girl- did you ever decide what you want from Posh Party Pretties from when you won? Email me!

  3. GREAT post. I loved your seven minute Target trip. Cracks me up.
    Good for you for doing all the letters and numbers even if it is annoying, not many people can say their 2.5 year old knows all those front and back, upside down, in chalk, ect :)