Wednesday, February 23, 2011
it is hard to admit that you want something that someone else has, that there is something about their lives that appears to be better than your own. to think that if circumstances had been different that could have been my life. there is not that much that I am jealous of these day - i know that I have it pretty good. sure i wish when i walk into the Gap or Nordstrom that I could buy the stuff that was just put out, the stuff that *gasp* is not on sale, but instead I direct myself directly back to the clearance racks and don't even bother to look at the regular stuff. i am cheap - even if i had millions of dollars I will still be cheap.
sometimes I get jealous of my little sister's lifestyle and experiences. She is only 20 - so it is hard to compare our lives. She goes to school in downtown Chicago, when she isn't studying in Costa Rica, Cyprus, New Zealand or the United Kingdom. When I was 20, I was having the typical midwestern state college experience - cheap beer, football games and frat parties. I went to Fort Lauderdale for spring break not Morrocco and Ibiza. My boyfriend lived in a frat house down the road, her boyfriend lives across the Atlantic and has a beach house on the Mediterranean. I collected people's spit in a Psych. Lab to make money (grossest job ever) while she models beautiful clothes for an hour photoshot and makes more than I did in a semester. She eats crap, like 7-11 churros and slurpees every day and those nasty little debbie cosmic brownies that taste so horrible and yet she is so skinny and appears fit, even though I am sure her only exercise is a saturday shopping trip. While I am not obese or anything - I wish I could have a 20 year olds metabolism again. She claims she has social anxiety, which often involves me making phone calls and pretending to be her - except she happily tried out for Top Model and then actually was on the show, which doesn't go alone with her WebMD diagnosis.
The biggest celebrity I ever met was Jarod the Subway Guy on an airplane and he was a horribly mean person and she can say she personally knows Tyra. The last 2 years of her life contained so much more adventure and excitement that my entire 30 years. so sometimes I am jealous - until I am talking to her on Skype and she is whining because her boyfriend and most of her friends live on the other side of the world, or becuase she hates her roommates or because the slurpee machine is out of her favorite flavor or when she is trying to get me to give her money for her next plane ticket to Europe or when she has 4 papers due in 4 different classes all on the same day. sometimes after I am stuck inside with 2 sick kids and 2 barking dogs for days at a time - her life seems like a welcome vacation but i'm not 20 anymore and I think I would die from exhaustion trying to keep up.