Wednesday, March 16, 2011

i'm not perfect but ...

so i am not a perfect parent, i never have claimed to be one and I think most of the time I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and am just trying my best BUT i know bad parenting when i see it. I am not talking about different views on childrearing or parents that require thier kids to sit in the stroller at all time or even parents that spank or use other discipline that doesn't work for our family. I am talking about adults bullying their own children - I am amazed how often lately I have been seeing it and it breaks my heart.

we were at Dinosaur World about a week ago and there is a playground where the kids can play if they havehad enough of the dinosaur exhibits. It was just me and a friend w/ our kids and another couple and ar 4 year old son. The playground was on the bigger size and the slide did have a giant drop-off at the end which is what started this disgusting parenting episode. Dash is a brave little kid and he climbed up the mountain climbing wall and went to go to down the slide which was a little too fast and made him fall onto the ground when he was finished. He brushed it off and went back playing. The 4 year old was in line to go down the slide after Dash and he decided not to go after he saw him fall. The kid's dad starts SCREAMING at him,"what are you a P***Y, don't be so scared, you P***Y. The kid ignored him but the dad did not stop adn then the mom started taunting him. The words they tossed around were not words I would yell at my worst enemy .... and especially not a little kid. The kid looked so discouraged, he tried to hide from them in a tunnell and they just continued to degrade him."Loser, Girl, P***y, F**" - all of this to a little timid 4 year old boy who they had apparently cared enough for to take him to spend the afternoon at Dinosaur World.

My friend and I stood there in silence, not really sure what to do. They didn't appear to be people that would handle a confrontation very well and I am not a confrontation person but something needed to happen. I told the boy that the slide was very scary and I would have been scard too, just trying to reassure him or something. My friend, much more outspoken than I am, went up to the father as we were leaving and told him that his job was to build him up and not to tear him down. The man did not respond but I hope it at least made him think about what he was doing.

we hear so much about bullying these days and it is everywhere but it should never be in a child's home. A child should not be bullied by the very people that are supposed to protect him. It just breaks my heart that there are kids that have to live like that, that think it is normal to be belittled and ripped apart by their parents. I try to go out of my way to make Dash feel like every little thing he accomplishes is a big deal - and maybe he claps for himself a little too often and for the silliest things but at least he is proud and feels worthy.

what would you have done in that situation?


  1. How absolutely heartbreaking! I can't imagine what I would do if I witnessed that. I think I would have been afraid to say anything to them.

  2. How heartbreaking! I am more like you...I probably would have said something to the little boy too. Thank goodness for friends like yours who are willing to confront the bullies. I hope it makes a difference.

  3. About going down a slide?!!!!! Imagine what happens if he spills his milk at dinner! Seriously. I am sad. I would have directly said to the BOY, "you don't have to do ANYTHING you don't want to do." Regardless of whether their parents started a shouting match with me or not, no child needs to feel like that, especially about something as STUPID as making HIS OWN decision to do something. I can only imagine how his potty training went, or if he gets/wants the opportunity to play a sport how that will go...
    How terrible. Pray for that child. He will have a tough time bottling emotions, and being angry as he gets older.

  4. I forgot to say, I commend you for at least justifying his feelings. Because the slide was scary for him. He didn't want to go down it.

    And, who cares! It doesn't make him any less of a four year old because he didn't go down it, did it? Not at all! Let him be a kid!
    Next time he will probably just sit out and not play at all, just so his parents don't have the opportunity to ridicule him.
    Again, I am sad. And very angry. Can you tell?!

  5. Wow. I am mortified just reading this. I cannot imagine witnessing it.

    I'm not sure exactly what I would have done in person with regard to the "parents"...the teacher (and mom) in me would have spoken to the child for certain too.

    My thoughts...if he/they are will to behave that way in public, what in the world is happening in private??? :(

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