5 things noone told me...

you know when you find out your pregnant and everyone starts telling you all sorts of advice that you really don't want to hear...well there is a lot of stuff that they leave out, or at least that is how it seems. maybe as your kids grow up you forget about the chaos that are those first years - just like how you blissfully remember childbirth somehow totally forgetting about those hours spent screaming that you were never going to do it again. these are just five things that noone told me and i'm not sure I would want to know.

1. You will be tired.  Not just I didn't get enough sleep kind of tired, b/c knock on wood, I have been blessed with children that sleep all night, but the kind of exhaustion that just overtakes your body. I don't know if it is from chasing after a fast toddler or calming a crying baby all day but by 8 o'clock at night my body is ready to shut down. I need to sit on the couch and watch stupid reruns of How I Met Your Mother and Friends just to decompress.

2. There is no time for showers, especially alone. If I want to shower these days, it seems like there is always a little blonde man showering with me.  It is not relaxing and not a daily occurance. I think greasy hair looks good on me and am greatful for the person that invented deodorant.

3. You probably have no idea what you are doing. You can read books or talk to other parents or doctors but in the end you are just grasping at this parenting thing. At the end of the day - if the babies are alive in thier beds, you did your job. No amount of education will prepare you for a 2 year olds tantrum in the middle of Nordstrom with nannies, moms and sales clerks all staring and waiting to see what you do. What works for one parent and child, most likely is not going to work for you. I try to make good choices but I know a lot of times they probably are not the right ones - I just want my kids to be happy and hope I don't mess them up to much.

4. There is a lot of poop. Sometimes I feel like I am cleaning up poop, thinking about when they will poop or talking to my husband about their poop ALL DAY LONG. I also like to leave all the poopy diapers tied tight in little orange poop bags in front of the front door every day so when my Husband gets home he can see how much poop he missed out on. I don't think he finds it amusing - but I do! I'm sure the UPS man loves it too.

5. Children's Television may have been created by the devil. The incessant high pitched voices and stupid littel ditties that get stuck in my head are enough to drive me crazy - as if 2 crying kids under the age of 3 weren't enough. Elmo, Ernie, Barney and the entire cast of Imagination Movers are after my sanity. But the kid loves it and he actually does learn a lot from most of them so instead of watching The View we are stuck with reruns of The Wiggles.